Emotional Development for Leaders

I often talk about school never (ever) being out. Often though we think of training, development, and learning as it relates to skills both physical and cognitive. Good leaders are always learning. Great leaders are always learning about themselves.

Emotional Development for Leaders

When it comes to ourselves, what can we learn? The answer to that question is a key to developing the most important tool a leader needs to have in their arsenal…  Emotional Intelligence.

97% of all managers and leaders have ridiculous Cognitive Intelligence. In other words, they are smart! Sadly, very few of those have a high level of Emotional Intelligence. The very best leader I have tutored under anywhere on the planet has a tenth-grade education. The very worst leader I have worked with on the planet, without question, had a Ph.D.

The difference? 

The best leader had a clear understanding of his own feelings, motivations, and actions. He also had a clear understanding of his impact on those around him and what motivated and inspired others. He built expediential value in the culture, for customers and for shareholders.

The worst leader was vaguely aware that there were other people besides herself on the planet. And those that she was aware of, were the ones lined up behind her kissing her ass. She erased millions of dollars in market share in a very short period of time. And… true to form, blamed the business’ slide on everyone else around her.

How to Develop Your Emotional Intelligence

Here is my challenge to you:

1. Be aware of how you are feeling in different situations. When someone – usually your children – ‘pushes your buttons’ and causes you to lose your cool or feel frustrated, what is the situation and where does that feeling come from? Is it childhood? Is it your ego? Is it because you haven’t had your morning coffee? What is it?
2. Be aware of how you respond. When you are happy, how do you behave? Why? When you are frustrated, sad, pissed-off, energized, focused, etc., what do you do? Why? What caused you to act that way? Being aware of how you respond to different situations is critical.
3. What have you learned about yourself? Have you ever taken a Landmark program? Have you spent time alone with your thoughts? Meditation? Long walks by yourself? Do you have a coach/mentor that pushes you outside of your comfort zone? Great coaches are the ones that don’t want to be your friend they want you to unlock more of the truth about yourself and in doing so, your potential.
4. When shit happens... When things don’t go according to plan or even when they do, what do you do? Leaders with high levels self-awareness, step up and take responsibility – even if it means they could lose their jobs. When things go well, self-aware leaders put their team front and center.

Robert Murray is a Vancouver, BC based Business Strategy Consultant, #1 Best Selling Author, and International Keynote Speaker. For further advice, insight and inspiration on how to unlock your inner leader, follow Robert on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook.

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